


McCoy Goes into Battle Mode

by Waterfall58



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Jealous Kirk, Leonard "Bones" McCoy is a Good Friend, M/M, Written in About Two Hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterfall58/pseuds/Waterfall58
Summary: Doctor McCoy realizes that no one else is ever going to get the girl unless he does something about Kirk.  That something is Spock.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 20
Kudos: 134





	McCoy Goes into Battle Mode

**Author's Note:**

> Written just to make myself happy. If it makes you smile even once, my work is done!

McCoy raised a glass toward his captain. “Here's to only four days left with the Academic Consortium.”

Kirk raised his glass with a slight smile. “Compared to other groups we've transported, Bones, they've been a breeze.”

McCoy shrugged and dropped down into a chair. “You didn't have eight more Spocks poking around your Sickbay, asking question after question.”

“Well, they are academics, Bones,” Kirk pointed out mildly. He took a large swallow of the smoky whiskey. His lips pursed lightly. He pulled the glass away to nod his appreciation of it.

“One stuffy robot onboard is enough,” McCoy huffed.

“I would've thought you'd enjoy the chance to show-off for our guests,” Kirk observed.

You can't show-off to a bunch of people with sticks up their asses,” McCoy growled.

Kirk laughed and refilled his glass. “Easy for you to laugh,” McCoy continued. “You've had the attention of the Varger twins.”

Kirk hummed but said nothing. The Varger twins, members of the Consortium, were sisters whose beauty and brighter personality caught the attention of many crew members. Of course, it was James T. Kirk on whom they lavished all their interest. McCoy knew just how far their interest had gone. Damn lucky bastard! It was past time for Kirk to be off the market. Other guys needed to stand a chance with the ladies.

McCoy sipped his whiskey, staring grudgingly at Kirk. He wanted nothing from Life in that moment but to wipe that smug smile right off his captain's face. “Spock's attracted his own admirer, you know.”

To his disappointment, Kirk's only reaction was to look mildly curious. “I expected nothing less. I imagine that more one of our guests are taken with our Mr. Spock.”

McCoy nodded. Time to bring out the bigger guns. “I saw one of them with Spock in the rec room on the way here.” He paused to sip his whiskey. “They were playing chess.”

Kirk choked suddenly. McCoy jumped up and smacked him on the back a few times, unashamedly using harder than necessary force. “You OK there, Jim?”

Kirk twisted in his seat so that McCoy could no longer reach his back. “I-I'm fine,” he wheezed, glaring at his CMO.

McCoy had initially planned to stress how vested the Kagellian provost seemed to be in Spock, but decided it would irritate Kirk more acutely if he said nothing further about it.

“This is really good whiskey,” McCoy said. “Wish I could remember where I bought it.”

Kirk squirmed in his chair, then stood up and walked over to his desk. McCoy bit his lip to keep from laughing. “So do we know where we're being sent next, once we drop off the Consortium?” McCoy asked.

Without turning around, Kirk shook his head. “Still waiting for orders,” he replied somewhat absently.

“They'll probably send us to -”

Kirk interrupted him. “You know what would go good with this whiskey? A Queebee biscuit.”

McCoy knew instantly what Kirk had in mind. The biscuits were a gift to the Enterprise crew from one of the Consortium's members. There was still a large cache of them in all the rec rooms.

“What about your diet, Jim?” he asked doubtfully, enjoying himself immensely.

Kirk's face reddened. “One biscuit won't hurt anything.”

“Yeah, but I've yet to see you stop at one.”

Kirk's shoulders squared in warning. “Oh OK,” McCoy relented with a chuckle. “Don't get your panties in a twist.”

“If you don't want one, you don't have to come,” Kirk said somewhat petulantly.

“Come on, Jim,” McCoy said, cheerfully clapping a hand on his friend's arm. “Lets go demolish some biscuits.”

McCoy wasn't sure what he expected would happen when they entered the rec room, but he didn't expect his captain to come to a dead halt barely inside the door. “Ooof,” he said, walking into Kirk's frozen form.

Following Kirk's gaze, McCoy saw that Spock and the Kagellian were still immersed in their game. Neither of them seemed to notice their entrance.

Kirk's eyes moved over the rest of the room. Every crew member present was looking back at him, some in surprise, some in confusion and one in amusement. He glared at Uhura, but her impish expression of amusement didn't falter.

Kirk moved over to the counter. He grabbed one biscuit, then after a brief hesitation, grabbed another. McCoy graciously pretended not to see.

After spreading raspberry jam over his own biscuit, he started after Kirk. He winked at Uhura, then rolled his eyes when Kirk chose the closest empty table to where Spock and the Kagellian were playing. McCoy coughed into his sleeve when Kirk pulled out his chair and put down his plate as noisily as possible. A quick glance at the Vulcan convinced McCoy that he was unmoved by the clatter.

Kirk began talking brightly and over-loudly. McCoy wondered if Kirk even realized he was acting like a teenaged girl trying desperately to get a boy's attention.

It took a good fifteen minutes before Kirk's conversation started to flag. He had never before been so ignored by his First Officer. What was it going to take for Spock to acknowledge him? What was so damn fascinating about the Kagellian anyway?

Kirk covertly studied the man opposite Spock. Sure, he was tall and broad-shouldered with a luxuriant head of raven curls a woman would have envied. His face wasn't all that interesting, Kirk decided. His features seemed over-shadowed by all the dark hair. So why was Spock so focused on him?

“Is there a problem, Jim?” McCoy asked. “You've been glaring at Provost Paris for the past five minutes.”

“He keeps touching Spock,” Kirk hissed furiously. “Look! He just brushed Spock's sleeve again.”

McCoy's brows raised. “So? Does Spock seem to have a problem with it?”

“Spock is too tolerant. He probably thinks that Paris is unaware of Vulcan boundaries.”

“I don't think Spock would let someone keep feeling him up if he was uncomfortable with it,” McCoy responded, just to see Kirk's reaction.

Kirk dropped his biscuit. “Is that what's going on? Do you think that's what Paris is doing?” he asked hoarsely.

“Since we're in public - “

“You're right,” Kirk interrupted, his hands closing into fists. “Spock wouldn't create a scene a public. He'll just go on being taken advantage of! Do you think he needs help? I'm sure he needs my help.”

“Jim, Spock is a grown man -”

Kirk jumped to his feet and approached the chess players. McCoy followed avidly, not wanting to miss anything. Kirk was spiralling into a jealous rage and he wanted a front row seat.

Kirk waved Spock back into his chair. “Provost Paris, I hope my First Officer is proving a challenging opponent?”

“Yes, indeed,” Provost Paris answered. “He has been challenging in many respects.”

McCoy noticed the slight flush on his captain's face, a sure sign his temper and blood pressure were on the rise. He didn't wonder at it since the Provost's reply was purposefully provocative.

“Since Spock will have you check-mated in two more moves, I don't feel guilty about interrupting your game for some Enterprise business.”

Both Paris and Spock looked at the chessboard in confusion. McCoy rolled his eyes again.

“Captain,” Spock said. “I do not see where I will -”

Kirk interrupted him. “I need to review a change in crew assignments with you.”

Spock's brows rose in surprise. “Of course, sir. Is it critical that it needs done immediately?”

McCoy held his breath, expecting that Spock's question and his glance back at the chessboard would send Kirk over the edge.

“I'm sure Provost Paris will understand and excuse us,” Kirk answered grimly.

“Of course,” Paris replied, although it was obvious he was disappointed. Both he and Spock rose to their feet. “Mr. Spock, I hope your duties will not be long and that you can still show me the arboretum later this evening.”

Kirk gritted his teeth. Not over his dead body! “I'm sorry, Provost, but the Commander and I will be meeting most of the night.”

Spock blinked. “Captain, I estimate it will take -”

“Most of the night,” Kirk repeated, his tone ringing with authority.

Paris looked between both men. The look he settled on Kirk was measured and cool, but not defeated. “Gentlemen, I will let you get back to work. Mr. Spock, I look forward to continuing our game tomorrow. I'm certain I have more moves up my sleeve,” sending this last remark pointedly in Kirk's direction. Kirk decided then and there he would tie Spock to his own bed, if that's what it took to keep him away from the provost.

With the Kagellian gone, Kirk swiftly relaxed back into his normal demeanor and behaviors. “Well, Mr. Spock. Shall we start on those assignments?” he asked cheerfully, brushing up against the Vulcan and wrapping a hand around his elbow. It never crossed his mind that he had condemned such freedom from Paris.

McCoy pressed his lips together tightly. _Don't look at Spock, don't look at Spock_ , he cautioned himself over and over.

“Later Bones,” Kirk said, happily leading his First Officer from the room.

Uhura joined McCoy in watching their exit. “Call me crazy, but was our James T. Kirk just now bat-shit jealous?”

McCoy gave a shout of laughter. “You ain't crazy.”

Four days later, Spock walked into Sickbay. He had just finished transporting the final members of the Consortium to their destination, his captain ever present at his side.

Spock's lips turned up at the corners. Kirk had glued himself to Spock's side over the past 4.37 days. Not even the teasing or pouting of the Varger twins deterred him from being Spock's constant companion. It had been most gratifying to watch the two women walk away in defeat.

McCoy saw Spock walking toward him. He leaned further back in his chair. “Where's your shadow?” 

“The captain is currently recording his personal log.”

“Uh-huh,” McCoy said. “So it's now safe for you to be alone?”

Spock nodded and placed his hands behind his back. “I am not loathe to admit that my opinion of your insight and strategy has risen significantly.”

“Gee, thanks,” McCoy grumbled.

“I must inquire though. How did you know -”

“That Jim would lose his shit the first time you showed an interest in someone else?”

Spock's brows disappeared under his bangs. “I had no desire to cause the captain to lose control of his bowel functions. I only -”

McCoy laughed and held up one hand. “Spock! Stop saying stupid things and listen.”

“I do not believe I said anything 'stupid'”.

“Yeah, well you just did it again.” Spock opened his mouth, so McCoy rushed on. “Like I told you before. Jim never had any competition about you. After all, it's not everyone that can fall in love with a green mass of computer circuits.”

“But how did you know -”

“That an intelligent academic would be the perfect rival? Come on, Spock, even you can figure that one out.”

“I confess that I cannot.”

“Brains, Spock! Jim knew that you were never going to be won over by nothing but a pretty face, but if someone with an intelligence to match yours would show an interest in you and you in them.. well, that's serious.”

Spock nodded slowly. McCoy gave him a few moments to digest the information.

“I'm curious about one thing,” McCoy continued. “Whose idea was it to play chess? Yours or Paris?”

Spock's cheeks dusted with a darker green. “Provost Paris asked me if the captain and I had a “special activity” that just he and I particpated in together. He seemed to believe chess would suffice.”

“I told you Paris was a good guy and could be trusted. He and I go way back.”

“Indeed.” Spock took a deep breath speaking again. “Leonard, what you have done for us -”

“No details! No details!” McCoy groaned. “Just tell me this. Has Jim come to his senses and come clean about his feelings for you?”

“Although the captain has always maintained highly commendable bodily cleanliness, the answer to your question is … yes.” Spock's expression relaxed to allow a small, visible smile. “Thank you, Leonard.”

“You're welcome, Spock. Now get the hell out of my Sickbay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I always write with the TOS characters in mind, but I pictured more AOS with this little story. I love the AOS 'Bones' character more than I ever did the original. Somehow, his sarcasm seems just that; general crabbiness and never meaning to wound anyone. I can see him helping Spock get his Jim, but can't quite picture TOS Bones doing the same. What do you all think????


End file.
